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Posted by u/grandma_gains··Hot Take

Is weight loss easier when both partners are on the same journey?

TL;DR: My husband and I are losing weight together, and I wonder if it creates more support or competition in our relationship.

My husband and I have been working on losing weight together for the past six months. We've both committed to healthier eating and incorporating more physical activity into our routines. I'm down about 15 pounds, while he has lost around 20. I remember when I was younger, my friends and I would motivate each other at the gym, and it made a world of difference.

However, I have noticed that while we cheer each other on, there are moments when it feels a bit competitive, especially when one of us hits a new PR or sees a larger drop on the scale. It can be tough to balance support with that natural competitive edge. We want to celebrate together, but I also want to ensure we are encouraging each other in a way that feels healthy, not strained.

I am curious if anyone else has experienced this with their partner? Do you find that working towards fitness goals together brings you closer, or does it sometimes create tension? I genuinely value this journey and want to keep the focus on health and happiness rather than just the numbers. What do you all think?

18 comments

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u/cardio_catastrophe·

Honestly, sometimes it feels like im running a marathon against myself. So I just try to enjoy my runs and not worry about what my partner is doing. A little friendly competition can be fun, but I think it's way more rewarding to focus on my own progress.

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u/zucchini_zapper·

i totally feel you! My partner and I started a veggie garden together to stay active. It became less about competition and more about enjoying each other's company while doing something productive. Plus, homegrown veggies taste amazing!

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u/cardio_catastrophe·

Y'all, this whole weight loss thing is a rollercoaster. Just remember to laugh about the tough moments! Like that time I tripped over my own feet during a run. We can share those cringe-worthy moments together

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u/late_night_lifter·

Don't forget to take rest days too! Sometimes pushing each other can lead to burnout. Finding that balance is crucial. I know my gym buddies love to push limits, but there's also value in recovery!

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u/tired_and_toned·

I can relate to that! My husband and I tried doing this together last year, and while it was great for support, the competitive edge sometimes made it feel like a race rather than a journey. We started focusing more on personal milestones instead of comparing numbers, and it made a huge difference in our relationship.

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u/lifting_granny·

I think the idea of competition in a relationship can be a double-edged sword. When I worked with my partner, we found that setting joint goals, like completing a 5K together, helped keep the focus on collaboration. It's less about the numbers and more about the shared experience!

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u/grandma_gains·

Oh dear, competition can certainly creep in! I remember when my late husband and I were on a fitness journey, we often compared our weight loss. But what really mattered was that we felt healthier and happier together. I suggest making a rule that you celebrate together, no matter who has the biggest loss or PR. It's about the journey, not the destination.

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u/tired_and_toned·

I think it helps to remind each other that progress isn't always linear. Sometimes it's two steps forward and one step back. Keeping communication open about feelings can ease that competitive tension.

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u/tired_and_toned·

You know, there are times I felt like I was falling behind when my husband hit a new PR. But I reminded myself that I'm not in competition with him. Personal growth is so much more rewarding than just the numbers on a scale!

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u/bodypositive_bro·

Also, try to set non-weight-related goals. Whether it's lifting a certain weight or running a distance, focusing on skills rather than the scale can bring you both closer. It's a lot easier to cheer each other on when you're tackling new challenges together!

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u/bodypositive_bro·

One last tip! If one of you is feeling down or stuck, the other should be there to pick them up rather than compete. It's okay to have off days. Support will always outweigh competition in the long run.

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u/bodypositive_bro·

This! Working together is awesome for motivation, but it's easy to fall into that trap of comparing yourself to each other. i think it's important to celebrate individual progress and remind each other that everyone's journey is unique.

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u/sneaky_fiber·

And don't overlook the emotional aspect! Weight loss can bring up so many feelings. Make sure you're both checking in on how the journey is impacting you mentally and emotionally. A strong partnership involves lifting each other up, not just in the gym but in life.

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u/mealprep_mike99·

For tracking, I swear by MyFitnessPal! I like being able to see not just calories but also my macros. It helps keep me focused on quality, not just quantity. Plus, sharing recipes can make meal prep fun!

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u/mealprep_mike99·

Meal prepping together can also take some of that competitive edge away! Try planning meals that are nutritious but still fun to cook. It turns into quality time rather than just another chore. Plus, it's easier to stick to your goals when you have delicious options ready!

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u/crossfit_nope·

Honestly, if you find yourself comparing scales too much, maybe it's time to take a step back and reassess. You could both try intuitive eating for a bit! It helps with not getting fixated on numbers.

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u/sneaky_fiber·

Facts! Tracking what you eat can help minimize that competitive feeling. Using an app like Cronometer or MyFitnessPal allows you to focus on your own nutrient goals instead of the scale. Remember, it's about health, not just weight.

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u/gains_wizard22·

Based! The whole thing is about leveling up together! Whether it's smashing a PR or just surviving leg day, it's all about growth. Plus, think of all the meme material u'll have for your gains!

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