Is it normal to feel competitive with my partner's progress?

TL;DR: Feeling competitive with my partner's lifting progress; is this normal?

I've been lifting for health for about four years now, and my partner just jumped into it a few months ago. She's been making some incredible gains, like, she's already squatting 155 pounds for reps, and I'm over here at 225 pounds, but man, she's hitting PRs every week! It feels like I can barely keep up with her sometimes.

I love that we're on this journey together. My kids are getting involved too, and it's fun to see them get excited about fitness. We even have little competitions at home, like who can do the most push-ups during commercial breaks. But I can't shake this feeling of competition with my partner. It's not bad, but I catch myself comparing our progress, and I feel like I should be doing better. She's 30 and I'm 42, so maybe that plays a role.

Anyone else feel this way? Is it normal to feel a little competitive with your partner? I want to support her and be proud of her achievements, but I also want to keep pushing myself. Am I overthinking this? Any tips on balancing that healthy competition without letting it get to my head?

Thanks for any insights you have!

5 comments

Comments

u/dad_bod_legacy·20 hours ago

This is totally relatable! I've been lifting for a while, and my wife decided to join in. She started off a bit behind me but is now catching up in some lifts. It used to bother me, but now I see how much fun it is to push each other. One time, we had a friendly competition during a family game night to see who could do the most pull-ups! It turned into a hilarious family memory. Just remember, competition can be healthy, as long as you keep it fun and supportive. Don't lose sight of the reason you both started lifting together!

u/glutenfree_gains·1 month ago

100! I think it's totally normal to feel that way. Fitness is all about progression and seeing someone you love make big strides can definitely spark a competitive edge. Just ensure that your motivation comes from a place of encouragement, not jealousy. Maybe you could set mutual goals together? Like aiming for a certain weight or number of reps for the month. That way, you're both on the same page and can cheer each other on while pushing yourselves

u/fit_with_kids·1 month ago

Yep, I know the feeling! I have five kids, and we have fitness competitions too. I once lost to my oldest in a plank challenge, and I was so mad! But it reminded me that fitness is also about fun and spending time together. If you catch yourself comparing too much, maybe shift your focus to family workouts instead. Have fun with the kids and enjoy the moments. Fitness should be a source of joy, not just competition.

u/tired_and_toned·1 month ago

Feeling competitive with your partner is pretty common, especially when you're both on a fitness journey. I used to compare my progress with my husband all the time, and it got to a point where I realized I was missing the joy of lifting together. It can feel a bit like a race, but I think the best part is that you're both supporting each other and enjoying fitness as a family. Maybe try to focus on your own journey while celebrating her achievements too. Just remember, strength training is a marathon, not a sprint

u/powerlifting_panda·1 month ago

I get it, but you need to look at the bigger picture. Your partner's progress is impressive, but remember that you both are at different stages in your lifting journey. Age can play a role, but so can training experience and goals. Since you've been lifting for longer, it might be helpful to focus on refining your technique or aiming for new PRs in your own way. Sometimes it's more about form than numbers. Plus, hitting those PRs in technique can feel just as good as hitting a big number on the bar.